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Carmody Central Video

Salvia Divinorum is a legal drug that induces teleporting, getting severed, and running from lasers. Unfortunately, I didn't teleport anywhere cool...could have just walked to the bank. Btw- teleporting fucking hurts. Being a science experiment in another dimension was pretty cool, but I hope that's not what is really going on here. 

Carmody Central Video

I don't do drugs because I suck at them. I use to think I was great at doing them and thats why I have so many stories, but as you'll see... it never turned out like it was supposed to. Today I'm going to share a couple of stories about PCP, which include kicking a door in with my mom in her panties on the other side and losing my toenails at an 80's concert. 

Carmody Central Video

Here's a story about my lovely mother, who thought a mysterious orange ecstasy pill was candy and decided to eat it. Who does that?! I tried to wait it out but before she leaves for work, I end up telling her what it was. Let's just say she wasn't a happy raver.

Carmody Central Video

There was this one time I did K in a bathtub with my lesbian lover mother and a Mexican dude appeared just in time to intercept the dancing metal rod. Please don't try to reenact this at home.

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WHY I DONT DO DRUGS... ANYMORE

 

ADVENTURES OF JENN & JEN

 

Carmody Central Video - Jenn & Jen

More Adventures with Jenn and Jen, this time we go searching for the Vortex in Sedona AZ.  We hike Bell Rock Canyon looking for a portal to the fourth dimension.  Then we get lost as usual. 

Carmody Central Video - Jenn & Jen

The day continues with a wheelchair race, Jen won. But really we both lost because we let 4th graders bully us.

Carmody Central Video - Jenn & Jen

On our way to see Jim Norton at the Improv, we disagree on how to say the word rural.

Carmody Central Video - Jenn & Jen

Jen is visiting Jenn in LA and they decide to wash a friend's dog. All Hail Queen Daisy.

Carmody Central Video - Jenn & Jen

Jenn and Jen are in Phoenix Arizona for the weekend.  An average day consists of eating, driving in circles, forgetting our phones places, sitting in traffic, and circling buildings looking for parking.  Here's part one of our day. 

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Brian Lynch teaches me to drive a clutch... still kind of unsure what that means.  Why can't Brian just drive me everywhere? Enjoy my attempt at trying to do something normal. 

 

Myth busting this bullshit. Guys claim to need variety but what do they really need? Brian Lynch doesn't care enough to defend men, so it becomes a onesided battle. 

Brian Lynch attempts to teach me to ride a BMX bike standing up going down a hill.... I insist on learning to ride a bike the regular sitting down way first.  I was all crouched up on a tiny ass bike... but it was fun. 

It is unacceptable how Amanda Bynes is being treated like a criminal when all she is doing is TWEETING.  Everyone is a little crazy, why does she get taken away for it? Is she a mind control slave? Is Sam Lufti her handler?  Is this all bullshit... then randomly we start talking about anal sex and porn cause we are intelligent well spoken individuals and have no attention span.  Is our shitty attention spans a result of the New World Order?? You decide.

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THE PROFESSIONAL PASSENGER & BRIAN LYNCH

 

Ep2 - Funeral Home w/ Amy Schumer

Jim Norton Presents "The Chip Chipperson Show"

Funeral Home

Written by Jim Norton & Jennifer Carmody

Starring: Jim Norton, Amy Schumer, Gilbert Gottfried, Clubsodakenny

The Chip Chipperson Show Pilot

Jim Norton Presents "The Chip Chipperson Show"

Pilot

Written by Jim Norton & Jennifer Carmody

Starring: Jim Norton, Jennifer Carmody, Gilbert Gottfried, Clubsodakenny

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How to deal with a Jealous Girlfriend

Written by Jennifer Carmody

Starring: Vlad Perez, Choni Francis, Carla Valderrama

JIM NORTON PRESENTS THE CHIP CHIPPERSON SHOW

THE GIRLFRIEND WHISPERER

 
 

Carmody Central Podcast

I felt it was about time to introduce my hood rat street fighting alter ego from Jersey, Prison Jenn. For the most part she is out on her own turning bitches out, but when issues arise in my life, she comes to kick ass on my behalf. Here's the story of a time she caught my ex cheating and fought the chick in the Dirty Jersey streets. No class, just trash. Enjoy!

Carmody Central Video

Sometimes you get a pizza with a friend and shoot the shit... but my panicky gluten free ass can't stop obsessing. Who have I become, I used to kick doors in now I feel naughty for eating almost a whole pizza? Getting older is funny, not haha funny... but like holy shit No wonder parents are so laaaaaaame. Also, gym perverts... Joined by my great friend, Brian Lynch. Enjoy.

Carmody Central Video

Spice Girls, Older men, Bread, I'm Drunk.... and rambling

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Everyone talks about the awful drivers in Los Angeles, but have you ever met one personally? No one has anything nice to say about bad drivers, not even me... and I am one of them. I share my struggle of failing several road tests, crashing a car, and moving to this wonderful city we call LA. Don't worry, I haven't been on the road since! Uber is a life saver.

Carmody Central Video

Some people will zero in on other's flaws. Sometimes those people are your significant other... and SOMETIMES you want to kill that person for insulting you BY SAYING YOU HAVE A MUSTACHE... When I really don't have a mustache, Ok?! And even if I did have one... you should accept me the way I am hairless or hairy.  I say "Okay" about 20x in this video... forgive me, I just wanted to make sure you're understanding me and the lack of severity of this situation and video.

Carmody Central Video

So I had this crazy dream that I was having an affair with JFK and we had an orgy with Tyra Banks in the bathtub of the presidential suite of the Pennisula Hotel in the future. Pretty crazy, then Melissa Stetten shows up and we present a VMA award together.

Carmody Central Video

Most parents want their children to find love so they can have grandchildren... not my mom. She wanted to save us the trouble of falling in love, by not allowing it. If she found out I was dating a guy she would have killed us both... and this is the near death story of one young man who tried dating me.

Carmody Central Video

So I found this video I recorded months ago and decided to put it up.  Never call a white trash person, white trash because they will kick you in a parking lot.  Proving, that they are in fact, white trash.  This is my story.  Enjoy. 

Carmody Central Video

My mom had no problem taking out the belt and whipping me if I was bad, but when it came to fighting she was zero tolerance. I was not allowed to hit anyone, even if they hit me first. I actually convinced my principal to not tell my mom I got into a fight once... but my step mom, who is Latina... she said if someone hits you, you hit them back, or I'm going to hit you for not defending yourself. Oh divorce... makes being a child so easy and not confusing!

Carmody Central Video

During an episode of Carmody Central Podcast with Colin Quinn I talked about my UFO experience from childhood vaguely. I wanted to describe it in detail plus talk about some other UFO sightings in the area over the years. 

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MORE VIDEOS...

 

ALL MY HORRIBLE JOBS

Carmody Central Video - Horrible Jobs

My stomach was all messed up and nothing was helping, so I believed I had a parasite. I racked my brain to think how I could have gotten one and remembered the day I ended up in the LA River during some weird Birthday Party Cult photoshoot. 

Carmody Central Video - Horrible Jobs

Continuing my Horrible Jobs theme of videos, I decided to talk about those few years I worked for and with boobs.

Carmody Central Video - Horrible Jobs

I have been doing a drugs series, but I ran out of those stories, so now I'm going to talk about my next addiction.  Work.  I've basically worked everyday from the day I started working.  Here's how I became a bartender. My advice, just lie about it and wing it. It's good money and the only way you're gonna get the experience.  Fuck it if they fire you, get another one and lie to them too!

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